Phil's Testimony

I (Heidi) was going through the files on our computer, looking for Phil's poetry and art. I found this. He wrote this in November 1996 (six months before I met him). I'm so grateful to have this and that Eden will have this. I share it with all of you. If you want to honor Phil, think about what he knows and how he came to know it.

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If someone were to ask me what was the most valuable thing I have learned thus far in my life, it would be the knowledge that “I can’t do it alone.” I can’t do everything the world, the church, my family, and I expect of myself alone. Until we know where to look, we’re kind of stuck by ourselves trying to figure life out. Even though many around us have answers, we have to find them out personally. The great truths of life have to be in our heads and our hearts. To find truth and feel it in our hearts, we need to turn to God. A man may say the words to us, but he cannot speak like the sweet, pure, silver voice of The Spirit. When we can hear It–by cutting out all the noise around us–we find out that there is someone who cares enough to tell us the truth.

I know Heavenly Father knows us. Looking back at my trials and joys, I can see that He knows me. I see the blessings in my life: the people He has placed in my path who teach me things I need to know; the priesthood blessings I have received from people who didn’t know me that spoke deeply to me the things that only God could know; it goes on and on. The challenges I have in my life right now get right to the core of my progress and spiritual growth. God knows what I need. I’m so glad for that.

It is difficult for me to know how short I fall of who I want to be. But Heavenly Father know how, when, and what to teach me to bring me closer to Him in His own time.

The atonement of Jesus Christ brings us all to God. Because He took on Him all our weakness, if we accept His gift, we will be able to stand before Him and our Father in Heaven and know that the price is paid. I sometimes wonder why a sinless man would place on Him all the weight of all the sin and darkness in the world–completely voluntarily, no reward but to have us be with Him again. Somehow our nothingness is worth everything to Him. It is a testimony of His immeasurable love for us. Undeserving, we receive it anyway.

The Spirit teaches us truth. The Spirit is here because Heavenly Father restored the church through Joseph Smith. All the keys were given so that the gospel could continue to come forth, through prophets and leaders to the present day. Gordon B. Hinckley is his prophet today. He and his counselors and the 12 apostles are called to teach us what we need to know to live happily and peacefully.

I look forward to being with our Heavenly Father again. I look forward to recognizing His face. While we’re here, I hope we can open our eyes and see who we all are so that we might be a little more willing to help each other, because we can’t do it alone. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Phil Kesler